In a perfect world, your boyfriend/husband/fiancé/hookup would have the Goldilocks of penises: not too big and not too small — juuuust right for you. But this is not a perfect world, and the truth is that size can sometimes be an issue.
His penis and your vagina might not always match up perfectly. We checked in with gynaecologist Lauren Streicher, M.D., author of Sex Rx: Hormones, Health, and Your Best Sex Ever, to find out if a penis can ever be too big for your vagina—and what to do if you find yourself dealing with the papa bear of penises.
“Given appropriate arousal and lubrication, most vaginas can expand to fit whatever size penis,” says Streicher.
It’s also pretty rare for women in their twenties and thirties to have problems accommodating more well-endowed men. “It becomes more common as you get older, though, because the likelihood of your having medical or hormonal issues increases,” she says.
That said, there are exceptions. “Sometimes, it can seem like a penis is too big for a woman’s vagina. And if that’s the case, the important thing is that you need to figure out why it’s happening — because it can be solved,” says Streicher.
There are two big reasons that his man-parts can seem too large. First, you may not be turned on enough. Really.
“If a woman is not aroused, it’s very possible that a penis may not go in,” says Streicher. Or if it does, it could hurt or bleed or cause tearing. To fix this problem, be sure you are lubricated enough before he enters you. Ask him to engage in some serious foreplay before the main act, or use lubricant to get things going.
Another possibility is that certain medications could be making your vagina a little dehydrated — and you may not even realize it.
“Many low-dose birth control pills cause vaginal dryness, as well as antihistamines and even cancer treatments, like radiation,” says Streicher. So if you continue to be dry down there — even if your guy is all about foreplay — check in with your doctor or gyno to see if one of the medications you are taking may be messing with your sex life.
The important thing to focus on here is that this is a solvable situation.
As long as you follow the above advice, you are not doomed to a sex-less existence if your boyfriend’s penis seems too large. “I have not once seen a patient who hasn’t been able to successfully have intercourse after taking the proper steps to fix the problem,” says Streicher.